Monday, July 25, 2016

It's hot as hell outside -- so here's how to cut a watermelon.

I'm going to pretend years haven't passed and I've been here writing prolifically the whole time.

So here's an entry based on this #Lifehack video mom sent:

I watched it. And then felt old because (1) I had to rewatch it because I thought they'd just pulled a magic trick and (2) I questioned the cleanliness of the cutting board.

Incidentally, this is becoming more of a norm with my mom, where she sends videos that speak for themselves. I almost miss the good ol' days when I'd get a 10-minute scroller with footnotes in traditional Chinese.

But since this post is about watermelons, here are some fun facts about the fruit that is 92% water!
  1. It's fat-free!
  2. It's low in sodium!
  3. Don't ask me about gluten if you don't want me asking you about your celiac disease.
  4. It has high lycopene levels and that is a GOOD thing. Lycopene is a phytonutrient that (a) gives red veggies/fruits the red coloration or pigmentation, and (b) has been correlated with heart/bone health + cancer prevention, and (c) is a powerful antioxidant. The redder the better!
  5. It's loaded with vitamin A & C (which helps out your skin and hair).
  6. It helps you poop. I'm sorry, I mean it "keeps you regular."
  7. It helps with muscle soreness if you drink watermelon juice before an intense workout because #aminoacids.
  8. Oklahoma recognizes it as its official state fruit.
  9. You can eat the entire thing!
  10. It probably came to the United States from African slaves. How you like 'em watermelons with a side of shameful history...?
These facts were brought to you by Melania Trum...I mean What, too soon?

Enjoy that yummy fruit!

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Yelp, Singapore?

How did Yelp Singapore get a hold of my little blog here?

And for shame! 2011 was my last entry?

BF: "Well, isn't it because your mom hasn't written you in awhile?"
I laugh, open up my browser, direct his attention to two emails that landed in my inbox yesterday. Forwards from my mom of course.
Me: "This, this email here is telling me in what position I'm supposed to poop."
BF: "That's," he breaks into laughter, "that's great.... that's money-making right there man..."

And so friends and strangers from afar, I am reviving my blog.

Tomorrow's entry:  How to poop best for your intestinal health. Really.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


I SERIOUSLY need to add some new entries to this blog. My mom's been on a roll, and she's getting radically good at this. A few emails ago I got one that said I couldn't eat Basa (Vietnamese catfish), and it came with a YOUTUBE VIDEO. Yeah. My mom, Youtube!!!!  Video evidence!!!

Brr... it detailed how Basa is pulled from the ultra-polluted waters of the Mekong River, with chemical runoffs from manufacturers and waste from sewage plants. Anyway, I will post the video once I've sorted through the dozens of emails I've received since from mommy dearest!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Onion Follow-up

Having spent the last 3 days in bed, with a potential case of the cold, the Onion Theory is suspended... although one can argue that I wouldn't have gotten sick had I not left the room where the onions were. Or, as my father suggested, perhaps wearing a strand of onions might prove more effective. I proposed a smaller variety rather than your typical white or yellow onion.

Monday, October 25, 2010

I have onions on my nightstands

The inspiration behind this blog came from onions. Not just any onions. I'm talking about the 3 onions that are currently strategically scattered on nightstands on either side of my bed.

Sometimes my mom jumps right to the point and will skip her wisdom-by-email with direct phone calls that goes something like the conversation below. This call came after she found out through my father who saw a Facebook update from me that I'd posted about being sick.

Mom: "Go buy onions and put them all over your house!"
Me: "??"  (I make sounds of confusion)
Mom "I was talking to so-and-so (usually Auntie something or other, or a friend of an friend, or a new person at church, or a neighbor from the building next door, but someone generally deemed reliable through their affiliation with someone mom knows) and she says since she's put onions all around her house, she hasn't contracted the cold since."
Me:  ""
Mom:  "Something about something that the onion releases into the air..."

I am dubious, but two follow-up phone calls later where mom asks specifically about the onions, I pick up 3 not-so-cheerful-looking yellow onions on sale at 99 Ranch Supermarket for a measly 18 cents a pound, and upon returning home, place two on BF's side of the bed when he stays over (because he gets sick more often than I do, although to-date they appear to do nothing for general allergies and sinus problems), and place the third on my side of the bed.  

I tell BF about the story, and he suggested I start a blog, like normal people do when their moms call them to talk about produce and their disease-battling properties.


I am eagerly looking forward to a cold-free winter season. And beyond. I don't foresee the supermarket running out of cheap onions anytime soon. 

Photographic proof of two onions sitting happily on the nightstand:

Friday, October 22, 2010

PORK - NECK MEAT. BAD! Or really, pork dumplings, BAD pork dumplings!!

I'm just going to jump right in the neck of it! 

BACKGROUND: This particular email from mom, was a forward written in Chinese. I will admit, sometimes I am haphazardly guessing at what some of the characters say, because while I was a straight A student way back when I lived in Taiwan, it was only up to 4th grade when I moved to the States. I WAS a Teacher's Pet and a precocious reader, so my understanding of Chinese characters is not too shabby, and I still speak Mandarin fluently. However, the majority of these emails detail specific parts of animals or uses medical terms that I find a bit more difficult to translate. I am pretty sure that this email is telling me to avoid eating neck meat.  First, a question, what the hell is the neck meat in English!?  It's not pork loin, or pork chop, or pork intestine... all I know is, the email is saying it's the meat that's grounded to produce, ground pork.  That would explain why I can't have pork dumplings because to keep the cost low, most pork dumplings are made of grounded pork that this email suggests is all from the neck, the bad part, therefore, CHEAP!

BAD? WHY?  Pigs are fed antibiotics, too much of it, and the neck is where all the poisonous buildup collects. It's where the majority of lymph nodes are, so all the chemicals that are fed to piggies, drains out and also has a nasty build up where the neck is. When humans eat it, the bad stuff attacks our immune system.  I'm also told to not eat the following: Chicken head, chicken neck, chicken feet, chicken inners because the worst part of an animal is where the nerves end and where the 'dirty stuff' is collected.

OINK OINK  Fun facts that should make you pause before you grill up your next pork chop. I pulled this from another website, and am not going to dwell on it, because while I've not seen the movie Babe, I have known now for quite awhile, that pigs are smarter than dogs, they're actually not dirty, and they make excellent pets. I'm not a pet-eater!!! Am I?  So, from the other website:

Studies show:
* Pigs lead complex social lives that behaviorists once believed to be true only of primates.
* Mother pigs sing to their piglets while they are nursing
* They excel at video games that would be hard for a young child, and sometimes better than the primates.
* Pigs dream.
* Pigs have a good sense of direction, and can find their way home from long distances.
* They learn from watching one another.
* Pigs outsmart each other. One will often follow another pig to food before grabbing it away from him, and the pig who was tricked will change behaviors to reduce how many times it is tricked.

SO...  they sing to their babies?!?! GAH!!!!!  And uhm, scientists who thought to have pigs play video games are either seriously genius or complete slackers. In the end, I think it's fair to say, mom wins this one.  I understand antibiotic buildups and lymph nodes and although I'm pretty sure she's still making dumplings, made of mystery pork meat, I'll avoid it next time I'm at the market and stick to the ground beef for my dumplings or spaghetti, even though it doesn't taste as good without the lard... as for pigs in general, you can read more about the article at Suite101: The Intelligent Pig: The Smartest Domestic Animal in The World